It's My Wine in a Box!

I keep seeing these commercials for Fish Eye "wine casks," which can hold 4 bottles of wine at once and last for weeks and weeks!

The commercials make it out like this is quite fancy, but I just think about all the good times I've had with the illustrious Box o' Wine!

Ah, the box o' wine. Five liters of fun in a sack, wrapped in a box with a spigot. You can get drunk like, three nights in a row for about $9.99! Now that's a deal. Aching, skull-splitting, back-breaking hangovers aside, the only better time you can have with a box involves Justin Timberlake's junk.

So as it turns out, it appears that eliminating high-sugar foods from one's diet can yeild positive results. After giving up candy and ice cream for Lent, despite my utter lack of Catholicism, I dropped six pounds in a week. Seriously. And the only thing I did differently was not eat ice cream and candy. Six pounds in a week! I was astounded. I didn't even cut out all sugars, I still have my low-cal cookies and fat-free pudding and all that.

Apparently, I used to eat quite a bit of candy. Who knew?

In other news, I'm a huge loser.

I have only a few friends, several of them are in what the kids are calling "romantic relationships with members of the opposite sex," and the others are on the 28-day program (I fell off that wagon last week, I suck ass) and are avoiding bars like the plague. So I've had pretty much jack-all to do lately.

Friday, I was all excited to hang out with my bestest buds. My fucking parents. No lie, I hang out with them more than anyone else.

We had dinner Friday night, discussed the Oscars, and they said they hadn't seen my favorite movie of 2006, The Departed.

Me: Oh! Well let's go rent it then, we can watch it after dinner.
Them: awkward silence
Me: What?
Them: We sort of have plans to go out tonight.
Me: Oh.
Them: If you're not going out tomorrow night either, maybe we can do it then!
Me: (slits wrists)

Good times!