Iowalcoholic

So I booked tickets to the Hawkeye state today for one of my favorite couple's wedding.

I'll be rendevous-ing in the airport to share a ride to the hotel with two other pals, and since I'm landing an hour or so before them I'm already thinking about whether or not the airport in Cedar Rapids has a bar.

I'm also wondering what the bar in the hotel is like, and whether there are other bars in the vicinity.

I mentioned on IM to a friend today that I was thinking about calling the hotel to find out, and we had the following exchange.

Them: Are you serious?
Me: Well...yes.
Them: The wedding isn't for more than two months.
Me: So?
Them: And your'e already wondering where you're going to get drunk?
Me: What's your point?
Them: You're seriously going to call the hotel and say 'I'm going to a wedding there in two months, can you fill me in on the alcohol situation?'
Me: ....
Them: I think you have problems.
Me: So I shouldn't look up the airport to find out about the bar situation either?
Them: ....

But come on now! I'm excited for this wedding. All of my favorite DC people will be there, and I already bought the cutest shoes ever. Nevermind that, as is my usual move at weddings, the shoes will end up under the table as I drunkenly slosh around barfefoot.

Hmmm, maybe I do have problems.

(Shoe problems, that is, as those were the fifth pair purchased in only a week...but so cuuuuuute!)

Man. I have been busting my ass at the gym this week, chugging green tea, still not eating candy or ice cream (my two favorite things) (besides smoking, which I'm ALSO STILL NOT DOING) (can you tell how bad it's starting to get to me? Why wasn't I informed that it takes two months for withdrawal to set in?), and if I don't start getting some results soon I'm goinig to snap.

Snap. For real. Like, I'm contemplating whether or not it's possible to simultaneously eat a Snickers and a gallon of birthday cake ice cream while smoking three packs of cigs and drinking a pina colada.

(That sounds so good!)