Did you mean: "I heart hotties"?

(The title of this entry: I usually find my images by Googling, and was hoping there'd be something funny when I Googled "I heart fatties." Google apparently wanted to make sure I was serious.)

Big mistake tonight. Big. Huge.

I bought a bathroom scale.

I've never been an advocate of at-home-weighing for those trying to shed poundage. It's just too goddamn tempting to weigh yourself every three minutes. And weighing yourself every three minutes is really not conducive to actually making the number go down.

For the men out there wondering what the hell I'm talking about, just read this. I guarantee you that the reason this made the best-of list on Craigslist was that every single woman who read it was like, "OMG! That is SO me."

We're obsessed. OBSESSED. I've had the thing in the house for literally 30 minutes, and I've already weighed myself 5 times, no lie.

Once with all my clothes and shoes on. Once in a tank top and undies (down 5 pounds, wow my clothes are heavy). Once after peeing (down half a pound). Once holding my fat cat (up 13 pounds). And once holding my svelte cat (up 9 pounds...I'm surprised that Pork Chop only weighs 4 pounds more...but I guess that's actually almost 50% more than the thin one...If someone weighed 50% more than me, they'd be....yikes). (Wow, Pork Chop needs a diet.)

So you get the idea. I'm thinking the over/under on how many more times I'll weigh myself before going to bed has to be about 7.

This is going to turn out to be a big mistake.

On a related note, you know what pisses me off? This. Which is very disappointing, because I normally love Wonkette's Metro section, it keeps me in touch with D.C. (although at least they helpfully point out how misogynistic the entry is).

The post is funny, no doubt, but in that really mean way that makes a person uncomfortable, like hearing a racist joke. I could deal with it, laugh, say "some guys are such pricks" and move on, but then he had to go and link to an older entry, and that's when I just started feeling sorry for him, becuase god, outside of the age of 15, who is still this big a prick?

"But Fu! You were complaining about "lazy bastards" at the gym in January yourself, not two months ago!"

I know. I know. I'm a damn hypocrite. The difference, is that my problem was with ALL the lazy bastards who never work out and make it miserable and crowded at the gym for those of us who do, once the new year starts.

Not just the fat ones. Becuase not every jerk who decides "this is the year I get in shape!" on January 1st is actually...fat. And not every person who works out regularly (such as myself) and eats healthfully (such as myself) gets to be thin.

Thems the breaks, I don't waste my time complaining about them (okay, sure I do, sometimes). I just get my booty to the gym and say things like "can I have the fat-free dressing, and can I have it on the side?"

Seriously, my biggest pet peeve about carrying extra weight is that I probably eat less and work out more than your average thin person. Alicia, my best friend from high school, is a size two on a fat day (since she's usually a zero), and the girl can eat like a bastard. And she hardly ever exercises.

But the hateful people assume that everyone who isn't a size two or zero is just "lazy" or, as the Misogynistic Blogger thinks, "owned by food." Sure, some are. But not all.

Anyway, the point isn't just about the Assholish Yet Funny Blogger. (Who, after reading a bunch of his entries, is most certainly both of those things....the entries are funny, but exactly in that way that makes you feel guilty for laughing....it's like he's still the meanest jock in high school who busts on all the nerds. It's funny, but you feel bad. Only now that guy is acting the exact same way, but he's an adult, so it's actually just really, really, sad. Like the way I feel when I read another Wonkette gem, the excerpts from Late Night Shots.)

The point is that I learn nothing, becuase as pissed off as I get about the assholishness of others, it sure as heckfire don't stop me from being a grade-A asshole myself, pretty much 96.2% of the time.

But oh well. At least I don't make fun of the fatties.

(Unless they're like, REALLY fat. I mean, I'm only "a bit" fat, I am a fricking Olsen twin compared to like, that chick in Mexico that died and stuff.)

(See what I mean?)