Sign Says, Stay Away Fools

Haven't done the Numbers in quite sometime.

6: Number of times I got on a plane and flew somewhere in the last month.

1: Number of times I got so scared that I cried during takeoff.

4: Average drinks per flight.

2: Number of times I got to go first class, whoooohoooooo! Me gusta mucho free booze.

0: Number of times the plane came crashing out of the sky in a fiery death explosion, killing all aboard (Not that this matters in terms of "Lowering My Rampant Fear of All Things Aeronautic."

0: Number of times I've been to the gym in the past MONTH (oy, I was doing SO well, fucking holidays.)

[Redacted]: Number of pounds I gained over Christmas. OY. Well I guess that's what New Year's resolutions are for.

9: Cigarettes smoked last night.

13143185903185310: Cigarettes I intend to smoke tonight...becuase...

0: Number of cigarettes I get after tonight. Wail! Sob!

(sniffle...)

(No, you guys don't get it, it's SO fucking good.)

(Just so good, what the hell am I thinking?)

2:1 <- Odds of my breaking this resolution on the first Friday.

12,314,917,477: Number of dollars I spent last night on booze.

10: Perfect ten for the awesomest Khrissy birthday party since the infamous Deano Strip Tease of 2001 incident.

3: Number of times I had to re-read that last sentence before I accepted that the Deano Strips for Khrissy's Birthday (and puts a sock on his penis) (seriously) was actually five damn years ago. Holy mackerel.

0: Motivation I have to get ready to go out tonight.....

Happy New Year!