The Rejection Scheme

You know what I figured out lately? I put up with an awful lot of bullcrap from men who aren't even necessarily worth it. Actually, shit, no man is worth putting up with bullcrap. I keep forgetting.

The basic formula is as follows (not to be confused with my dating formula, wherein I ignore all these things willingly and get SUPER DUPER EXCITED every time I meet a guy).

I meet a guy, convince myself he's not totally douchetastic (even though he usually is) and then basically allow him to act like a shit to me while making excuses about it. 9 times out of 10, the guy isn't even my boyfriend when he's being the douche, that's the extra pathetic twist.

So, how to break this pattern? Celibacy and lesbianism are no solutions. One, I mean really, I like dick. Two, right now I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one, and I'm not really looking to change that. Who needs 100 problems, including a bitch, right?

I'm starting by rejecting someone. This guy I met last weekend really likes me, constantly sending flirty texts, telling me of my hotness (snort! riiight) etc.

But I am not really into him. He's nice, sure. But there's no pop or whathaveyou, and he lives a couple hours away. So he's out. I'm going to fully reject him. And, drunk on power, I'm also going to reject the next three guys that are interested.

Now, based on my current appearance and general poor attitude and recent tendency to dress like a hobo, it's highly possible I won't find three guys who are interested for like, three decades.

Which might solve the problem, really. But wait, I did say I wasn't into the celibacy angle. Hmm..Okay, three guys, including the guy I am currently rejecting.

So I figure, two more victims, and I might have enough gumption to finally find someone worth my fucking time.

And in the meantime, I have to return this text I got from that guy who dumped me on IM and then hit on other girls in front of me like a night after we totally had sex, BECAUSE I AM A PATHETIC LOSER.