Mardi Graaaaaaaaaaaaah (and other stuff)

I was in New Orleans for two days and three nights for Mardi Gras (yes, Mardi Gras is early this year, I'm very tired of explaining to people that Easter comes early sometimes, and that Mardi Gras is planned around Lent or whatever, because I'm insanely not religious so I can't explain it properly anyway, but I do know that Fat Tuesday is today, which means Lent starts tomorrow, which means Mardi Gras started last week, okay?).

Things I managed to avoid:

• Puking on the street
• Getting puke/excrement sludge on the cuffs of my jeans, something we were actually warned about on the plane on the way there (ew)
  
• Making out with anyone ugly (or making out with anyone at all, come to think of it)
• Getting groped/raped/molested or in other ways sexually harassed (ok this is only 95% true)

Things I did not manage to avoid:

• Getting my boob grabbed by this old guy, but it was kind of my fault so I let it go, I was flirting with him because he bought me and my friends like 100 drinks and a $700 dinner at a fancy restaurant. Yes, I am a whore for swordfish.
• Spraining (I think) my hand when some d-bag chucked a huge bag full o' beads at me off his float. You could argue he was trying to be nice by giving me so many beads, but he WHIPPED this thing, it bent two of my fingers all the way back, If he'd hit me in the face I'd have almost definitely lost some teeth. Fucker.
• Learning the glory of taking really nice wine from a fancy restaurant out into the streets in a freaking "to go" cup. Ah, New Orleans.

All in all, a good time. I'd go back, but might be too old after this, because after only two full days my liver feels like it's about to explode. I imagine it's plotting its escape plan now, soon I will be in excruciating pain as it attempts to burrow out through my colon or something (ew).

I am not in a healthy enough mental state to discuss the SuperBowl yet. But basically? The Pats choked hard. I think this choke might even be worse than the 04 Yankees dropping four straight to the Sox after getting them on the ropes three games to none, but it probably just feels that way right now because my pain is still so fresh.

Okay, so I will give the Obligatory Romance Update.

I managed to NOT blow it on date three (inconceivable!) and have successfully continued seeing He of the New Year's Resolution Ruination (if you recall, I declared I was giving up dating for three months as my resolution). Though we haven't gotten to hang out much due to my insane travel schedule and his schooling schedule, I believe we are now at 6 dates, 100% more than my usual Tommy Boy Pretty Pet Freakout Blow It All point.

This is almost unprecedented. I can't even count The Ex, because he was (for whatever reason, though I attribute it to my thin-ness at the time of our meeting) so totally enamored of me in the early days it would have been near impossible to drive him away.

So, yeah, I'll keep you updated.

Speaking of thin-ness, I'm like....SO not. I've been getting really caught up in the Fat Acceptance movement lately, not actually doing anything to participate but getting thoroughly obsessed with reading blogs from some really freaking smart bitches who write about how, you know, fat people are actually people. (Who knew!? All this time I figured I was an alien from the planet Lardassonia, where Twinkies grow on trees--there HAS to be an explanation for Banana Twinkies, right?) (Mmmm, banana twinkies.)

Only problem--the point of those blogs is that they promote health at every size. Meaning, you can be fat and still healthy, and exercise, and all that great stuff.

Why is this a problem? Because while I am coming to terms with the fact that I will never ever ever evah be "thin," I'm also not so healthy lately. I drink like a sailor and eat shitty things, and haven't seen the inside of my gym in three months. D'oh.

So I think it's time to get back on that. I'm not going to re-join Weight Watchers for the 100th time, but I am going to at least try to embrace that "health" aspect of Health at Every Size.

Soooo, that's it I guess. I'll be back with Obligatory Romance Updates as they become available.