I'm watching a "Sex and the City" rerun.
Carrie gets an accidental Brazilian wax.
She's horrified, and complains to her friends about being totally "bald" down there.
This episode was in 2000, have times really changed that much in 7 years? I mean, the other women are horrified by this, and Samantha has to explain to the ladies that it's "called a Brazilian."
I, frankly, honestly, grossly....have never been a into the "BP." My friend Casey always used to call it that. "Bald pussy."
And I am pretty much the ONLY one of my friends who keeps any hair on her shit.
Everyone else actually thinks I'm kind of a weirdo for it. The fact is, I can't afford waxing. It's expensive, somewhat painful, but mostly expensive.
I've shaved it all off before, and yeah, it's cool...you feel hot and sexy and all that, and maybe the sex is hotter because of it. But goddamnit, it hurts. I gotta sensitive vag, okay? If I shave it all off, I get a charming array of bright red itchy bumps. And I've tried all the right stuff, the super-sharp new razors, the lotions, the potions, the whole nine yards. I get da bumps.
I suppose I'd prefer, I guess, to keep it bald because that's what all the other girls do and I figure that's what guys expect. And you don't want to disappoint them. I mean shit, they're probably already disappointed enough just to be hooking up with me. Don't want them to go home thinking "sheesh, she was a fatty AND had a hairy beaver? Fail!"
But which is worse, looking like you have a raging case of oozing VD all over your cootch, or having no hair?
What's the solution here people?
Look, I'm not anti-BP. I get it, it's what's "in." But I'm tired of everyone being all "ew" when I admit that I don't got all 10-year old girl down there.
And if it makes me a pariah, then someone please for the love of god tell me how to keep it bald without wax.
I've got Nair in the bathroom that I haven't used yet. The smell grosses me out, and it specifically says not to use it "vaginally" (ew).
So what's a girl to do?
I'm kinda grateful for this SATC episode, because I suppose if Carrie Bradshaw likes some hair on her vajayjay then it's good enough for me. We have the same taste in shoes too, after all.
Goddamnit.
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6 comments:
I do waxing for a living, and I don't get the naked thing. It kind of grosses me out. Do men want a little girl? I like a nicely trimmed beaver. It says, yes, I AM a woman, and I take care of myself. There's just something wrong about hairlessness down there.
For real it is kinda twisted that dudes are all into BP. I mean, don't let it get all rain forest down there...but I'm a woman, not a preteen. I guess it takes all kinds...and now we all know what kinds we are, huh?
FU, what's up with all the vajayjay drops lately? You need a new category.
Well, as a guy who loves women, I've never really understood this trend. I hate fakeness---boob jobs, spray-on tans (actually tans of any sort in the winter), plastic nails and shaved pussies. I even think make-up is generally overused.
Give me a natural beauty. Try Kate Winslet's nude scene in "Holy Smoke." Wide, curvy hips; breasts like canned hams; adrenaline-driven urination; and a big glorius bush. Hoo-ah..the cave man in me wants to bend her over a rock.
I get the red bumbs too. Personally, I like the way my pussy feels when it's shaved, but it's not very practical to keep all of it that way all the time. Thankfully, my husband likes a little bit of hair, so I usually just keep it fairly short with just the "lips" bald. It gives the same sensation during sex as a BP does, but without the bumps. Plus, I'm a natural redhead, so I like to show that off. Aren't you a natural blonde? I would think guys would love seeing that. ;)
Of course, whatever you do, DON'T USE THE NAIR. I've tried that shit three or four times and it has burned the fuck out of me every time. Last time it hurt for a week and my husband couldn't get near my pussy without me shrieking in pain. I didn't leave it on too long either. That stuff is complete shit.
You need a patch to burn out on. The BP is kinda creepy in an "eights year old, dude" kinda way. Just don't go all dread-lockey.
It's not a kid thing, it's just nicer not to get the lil hairs caught in your throat when your doing that knid of thing which some of us like to do....
Ron
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