The Weekly Numbers, Thanksgiving Edition

Ah, the Weekly Numbers. It's like I said, they force me to write. Good thing, too, because I have been circling my computer all morning in the same manner that I circle my gym bag when I am feeling particularly lazy.

"Yeah, it's there, yeah, I know I ought to....oh look, something shiny, better go check that out!"

Number of Pies Baked By Yours Truly Last night: 3, but only if you count the huge-ass bowl of bread-pudding as a pie. Okay, I'll amend it, "Number of desserts baked by yours truly." The Great Dessert Debate is the same in my family each year, with my dad protesting the amount of desserts we make and my mother insisting they are necessary:

"We don't need 2 pumpkin pies."
"There will be 5 of us!"
"Yeah, 5 people, with 2 pumpkin pies, bread pudding, tapioca pudding--which, yeah, EW, butter pie, pecan pie and maybe even baked apples. There are officially enough desserts for everyone to have their own individual pie, after all the other food."
"People LIKE pumpkin pie, they're going to want a lot of it."
"People LIKE to not perforate their stomachs too, you know..."
"Shut up."
"YOU shut up!"
"Get me a beer."

And so on.

Number of Gym Visits: Since the last weekly numbers...I have been to the gym 5 times. I know you are all duly impressed, but...

Number of Times Veered Off Healthy-Eating Plan: 15,184

Hence...

Pounds Shed Since NH Return: Sticking at 7. Oh well, at least I did not go up, that would have been far more traumatizing. But who knows what will happen after...

Calories Consumed so Far for Thanksgiving: 315,154,017

(And we haven't even EATEN yet...damn pumpkin bread.)

Number of Dunkin' Donuts Iced Coffees consumed: Okay, this is embarassing. Eight. Once again, Sarah Runs on Dunkin'.

By the way, did any of you see John Goodman on Studio 60 last week? Another blogger, who I'd link to but I don't remember where I read it, speculated that Dunkin' Donuts has been paying him for those voiceover commercials in bear claws, and I can't say I disagree. I'd better watch out, becuase after the past couple days of this holiday week...

Number of pounds less than John Goodman I weigh: Approximately 3.

Number of (fucking) $75 fake (fucking) nails that have come (fucking) off since I had them applied: 2 These are supposed to be the GOOD ones, that's why they cost $75!!! Honestly.

Jack&Diets consumed: 10, all at a birthday party that was sadly open bar on Saturday night. Open "Buffet of Fred Foods Which Sarah Is Unable To Avoid When Shitfaced" too. Oy.

Moving right along.

Estimated "Dinner to POPU" time tonight (POPU is "Passed Out, Pants Undone"): 20 minutes, tops.

I love Thanksgiving. Except for the parade, GOD, there is nothing more painful to me than a parade.

Number of times I tried to change the channel from the parade this morning: 7

"Don't change that!"
"I hate the parade!"
"How can you hate the parade?"
"Um, I'm not 7?"
"Don't get smart!"
"Want me to get stupider? Pass the mimosas, no problem."
"Brat. Don't change that!!!!"
"Damnnit!"

And finally, the thing I am most thankful for:

Number of Days Before the Return of Jack Bauer: 52 <-- Here's hoping it passes quickly!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!