Ok, so naturally, as with all things where I'm a total psycho and can't help but be, I have this guy situation.
Over a month ago, I liked this boy. A lot. Because, as we know, I get way too excited when I meet boys and turn into Tommy Boy in a sales pitch, it ended up with me getting burned.
We went out a couple times, I knew he was seeing someone but he made it seem like more of a casual fling, "I barely see her...it's more of a casual hookup thing right now...we never talk", but then she went and became his girlfriend and our constant flirtation was suddenly all "ohhh well I thought we were just friends, yeah that time we fooled around was just drunkenness even though it happened sober as well along with lots of power-cuddling, what, friends don't do that?"
And even though my brain is capable of logic, and I know he actually treated me shitty, I haven't been able to stop being friends with him. The question is: can I get over this if I am still friends with him? Probably not. But why am I incapable of excising these cretins from my life? I did the same thing with Mr. Jesus, who came crawling back begging for friendship after DUMPING ME ON IM.
So ladies, how do you get over it? I try deleting him from my phone but he still texts on occasion and still IMs on occasion (though with nowhere near the all-day-every-day (no seriously, all.day.every.day) fervor of pre-girlfriend). We are still "online friends" on the social networking site we both frequent. He still messages me there too, and I feel like it would be petty and immature to "de-friend" him.
I'll grant him the "credit" that at least he talks to me 99% less than he did before. He probably realizes that at the very least, our "misunderstanding" was a result of the fact that we talked to each other approximately 300 times more than we talked to anyone else in our lives.
Sometimes, I really wish that mind-erasing thing people use to get over people from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind was real. It would make my life so much easier!
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5 comments:
I think you have to delete him from your life. It sucks but you'll be better off. I had the exact same situation once and the only thing that made it better was realizing that friendship wasn't what I wanted from the person, so it was best to move on. You deserve much better and can most certainly get that.
I know I do, but to actually *tell* him "look, I need you to not talk to me" is the thing I can't do.
For some reason, I am completely incapable of cutting people out of my life after they treat me like shit.
Lucky for me, especially in the last couple weeks, he's barely spoken to me. So I guess if I just don't speak to him, it'll keep going like that.
I don't think you need to tell him anything. I think you quit returning calls and texts, delete all his information from your computer, cell phone, etc. He certainly didn't feel that he owed you a logical explanation for his actions and should expect the same from you in return. I know it's hard, it was almost like an addiction for me when I was in your situation but seriously...you will feel liberated and free to find someone who is available in all the best ways.
Sounds like you are his Plan B.. You know, he keeps you around just enough in case he gets dumped.
Sorry,CaptainRon
Here's the thing: we never learn. I met a HOT guy a few weeks ago - 13 years younger than me, meow - and when I finally got his shirt off much later, he had Aryan Power tattoos on his stomach. And then told me that he got them right before he went to jail for 4 years for selling meth....and that he's concerned about relapsing because his current g-friend does it still, he thinks, behind his back. And horror of all ungodly horrors, I still respond to his text messages that show up on my phone daily. It's like I'm a piece of cheap toilet paper and he's a dingleberry. So sad. I feel your pain. OH, if you actually stop replying to him, he is much more likely to pester you incessantly for a while. Can't win. It would be best to tell him to f*ck off, but then you'd be miserable (I know this from experience). Kick out the hot roommate, cover all the mirrors, and throw the cell phone in the toilet. :-)
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