Well, Clearly This Won't Last

So I've just completed Day 3 of a nine-day detox, also known as Phase 1 of the "Fat Smash Diet."

My friend talked me into it after doing it herself and losing 30 pounds pretty rapidly, and probably also becuase she was sick of listening to me complain about needing to start a diet but never actually starting one, and using every excuse in the book to justify this diet and exercise avoidance.

"I have a cast on my hand! I couldn't possibly eat anything but ice cream."

"I just got dumped! That requires looooads of ice cream. And booze. Sweet, delicious booze."

"Dude. It's like, Wednesday. Clearly, hamburgers are in order."

It is the same diet they do on "Celebrity Fit Club," which prompted this exchange:

"Is this the guy that screams at them and calls them fat and is mean!?!?"
"No, that's the trainer guy. This is the doctor guy. He still calls them fat but he's like, nice about it."

Anyway, I'm exhausted, because I've been exercising lately (omg!) and am surviving on next to no food yet somehow am not that hungry.

Today for example:

1/2 Cup PLAIN (as in, Quaker freakin Oats, not prepackaged flavored) oatmeal made with skim milk and mixed with strawberries and a little splenda
Minneola (like an orange, but juicier, and with a nipple)

1 cup brown rice
6 oz fat free plain yogurt mixed with raspberries
Medium sweet potato
Grapes

I'd say that adds up to, like, maybe 1,000 calories, depending on how many grapes I ate. 1,200 tops. But I wouldn't really know because the plan does not call for calorie counting, it just calls for not eating bullshit.

So it's interesting, and the fact that alcohol and coffee and diet coke is forbidden, along with every single liquid in the world except for water, means I will likely not last.

BUT, we'll see.

Now I have to go to bed, because did I mention I'm exhausted?