I haven't had anything particularly amusing to say lately. I keep this blog to be entertaining, but considering I've felt 100% "meh" for approximately, oh, a year now, that is the reason the blog doesn't get updates. I read through old posts on this and other blogs I've kept and I used to be downright jubilant and, if I may say, hilarious. I'm not feeling that anymore.
Top Ten Reasons Why Fu's Life Sucks Balls and She Doesn't Feel Like Writing About it (aka Pity, Party of One):
10) Despite having been on a diet since 2002 that was initially successful, has only grown to be the size of Jabba the Hut's fatter sister in recent months, and is usually about as sweaty.
9) Despite being two years out of her most recent serious relationship, her only other "relationship" not with a bottle of alcohol has been with a born again 22 year old college student Christian guy who dumped her twice and could never afford to even buy her drinks or take her to a movie.
8) Number 9 may be a result of Manch dating pool, which is, shall we say, "shallow," but even more so for those women who resemble Jabba the Hut.
7) While generally content with current job, fully recognizing that will need to move on eventually, but having ZERO clue what to do next or where to do it.
6) Friends all getting boyfriends, social life consisting of cats.
5) Roommate who looks like a younger, hotter, thinner Tea Leoni and gets a new boyfriend once a week as though she were picking up a pack of cigs at the corner store. "Say, can I get you a boyfriend while I'm out? I have so many extras, you can just take one!"
4) Roommate-induced decrease in the amount of rent paid per month has done nothing to affect size of monthly credit card bills. Must lay off the kitty litter with the odor-absorbing diamonds. Oh, and the shoes.
3) The other day while at lunch, left the top down on the new convertible and came out to a torrential downpour.
2) Have reached an age, finally, wherein my favorite bar in Manch is no longer acceptable for me to frequent. Find myself complaining loudly about the loud music and "all the kids." Am two years, max, away from being the mean old spinster cat lady telling all the neighborhood kids to get off my lawn.
1) Oh, wait, would need a lawn for that. And to buy a house would need either money, or a husband with money. So nevermind, I guess. Maybe I'll tell them to get away from my mobile home?
I am, however, cheered by my friend Sara's check written in a drunken stupor to her babysitter, whose last name she couldn't remember. So she fudged it. This is kind of hilarious, perhaps only to me and the people who were there that night to witness her drunkenness. Also, 80 bucks? Jesus, I should be babysitting on the side, I'll have a house in no time. (Click image to read my comments)
